A clean slate

When I use to hear people saying let's start with a clean slate, I use to think how? You never forget how people hurt you even if you forgive. The slate can never be completely clean. I thought about today that I couldn't see doing it with others because I couldn't even do it with myself. I couldn't forgive myself for the bad choices and the predicaments it put me in. I couldn't forget the things that had got me to the place where I felt like I had nothing to show for life.

This year changed all of that. Well actually it was the choices I made last year to heal and have more grace for myself. I started this year knowing I wasn't the same person anymore. I was in complete awe of what God has done in my life. I knew I couldn't carry the self-doubt and shame anymore. I had to give the new me a chance that I could and would make better decisions. That I was capable of more than my past told me I was. That this new version learned the lessons and could walk into a future opposite of the pain of my past.

I was able to start 2025 with a clean slate. Not caring any negative thoughts about myself that I use to let dominate my mind. Giving myself and those around me grace when it doesn't go as I thought it would. I know we are all on God's divine timing. I have slept in not thinking about the depression I watched my mother in. I have moved forward into my marriage not thinking about how my father left. I am creating my own story and life in partnership with God. It feels amazing being able to trust God. Which has allowed me to trust myself. Who would have thought I would ever get here, but here I am.