Friendships

This has been a really isolating and hard part of my life. Especially the last few years. It's not that I haven't wanted friends. I have just been in a transition of growth that people had to be doing the same thing, or it wasn't going to work. Once I started dropping bad habits. My friends started feeling judged whether I was saying anything about it or not. Me just turning down the things I was stopping would cause them to feel a way. I'm thinking more for you, but they began to think I thought I was better than them.

No, I don't think I was better than them. I was now better than that bad habit. I didn't want to participate in things that was stopping my growth. People have to move when they are ready, and I was ready. I have learned you can't force people to change with you, but I also can't be in environments that are counterproductive what I am trying to do. I wasn't strong enough at first to turn it down after it is continually being offered. I knew that was part of our relationship and it didn't feel the same without it to me either.

I had to isolate to strengthen myself. I had to isolate to strengthen my relationship with God. I had to learn what I had let the world give and tell me, and who God intended for me to be. I had to heal and unfortunately no one was ready when I was. I had to walk my path anyway. I have got to a point where God is bringing friendships back into my life. Friends that I can be my genuine and authentic self around. Not feeling like the vibe killer because I want to have real conversations and not superficial conversations. Friendships that God can be in the center of. I am so excited.