Looking back at things you have written

I have been hearing that I should be looking back at old journal for the last couple of days. I pulled my journal out from earlier this year I haven't got the chance to dive in just yet, but it will get done today. I recorded a video that I have been wanting to do for years looking back in old notebooks I see it written over and over again, but I never recorded. I read my approach and realize I wasn't ready.

I laugh at that I thought that was the best way to deliver it but that is just where I was at the time. I am proud of myself for always having the mind and heart to help. To be able to finally record it yesterday felt so good. I was still nervous about it after all these years, but I think it is good to be nervous that way you never move in ego. I got done and realized I didn't say everything I wanted to say but the video was almost 40 minutes. I have to stop worrying about the length at get the message out because those who are meant to get it will.

The notebook was dated 2018 I can't believe it took me 6 years to be at the place to make these videos for the ones coming behind me. The truth is I wasn't ready any sooner than now. I am the one who was meant to speak to the ones coming up behind me. My previous version with all the best intentions was still too raw and hurt to be helpful like I wanted to. I was still bleeding trying to patch others up. So, I thank God, he didn't allow me to release it until my wounds had healed. I may still have some scares, but I took the time to care for myself and dwell with God on how to move forward.

I am grateful to be walking into the version that can be who I always wanted to be. Confident in who God created me to be. Bold in the things I need to say. Emotional intelligent that I no longer have to lead with my emotions but won't let them be overlooked. Spiritually strong that I know to seek God in all I do. Mentally capable not to be played over. Physically strengthened to know this is the temple God gave me to have this human experience and to treat is as so.