Miracles on Miracles

I can't even, I can't even count them all. I think about how I used to use every free moment to be high or be eating. That is literally all I did with my friends when we linked up. Of course, there were conversation and laughter, but we weren't talking about nothing. We were using all our free time to forget all the pain of the past and that we were currently experiencing.

Over the years before I stopped smoking and drinking, I would have times where I would say I needed my head clear to face things or to make sure I wasn't addicted. I would still b able to have a good time with my friends because my favorite thing was food.

I never imagined there would be a time when none of those things had control of me. I am walking in that space. I thought my past had impacted me to strongly for me to be a wife or a mother, and I am living in an answered prayer. I used to say I couldn't lose one more person, and now I am able to leave people that mean me no good right where they stand.

I am a walking miracle. I have peace and joy I didn't think were meant for people who had experienced so much trauma. God poured confidence and love in me that I always knew I was valuable. Sometimes that is all I had. It felt like a sick joke at times because there were times when it felt no one else seen it. I held on to it though. I got to the point where I reconnected with God and started to understand why I couldn't feel worthless. He had put something inside of me he needed me to share. It's a miracle I made it here.