Thinking about the past and not feeling it.

I have finally reached a point that I can think and talk about the past hardships and not feeling it like I was reliving it all over again. I am so grateful to God for lining up everything I needed to get to this place, and also changing my mindset to allow me to walk into it. I am so grateful for my now. A few years ago, I couldn't see this place in my life. A place where i am no longer trapped in the past. I am also no longer focused on knowing the answers to what will happen next.

Living in my current moment has shifted something in my life. Breathing deeply and moving in gratitude daily. I am facing a new existence. Not just for me but for my marriage, and our children. The things that are being drawn to us is something I couldn't imagine. Stepping into rooms and spaces that is only the hand of God. I know I couldn't do this on my own. I don't even attempt to foul myself that is in my own strength. I thank God throughout the day for all the things.

It was God that helped me heal up the pain I continued to step in to charge me up. I was using my pain to make me angry enough to do something differently. I was using my pain to shock my brain that I deserved better. I was using my pain to fuel me, pushing myself out of what trauma had made normal. God orchestrated healing in my life that I have not only made peace with it all. I am grateful for it. It took it all to create the woman who I am today and for the things I am meant to do.