Do we Believe?

The last couple of days this has been a question I had to reflect on. Do I really believe? As I walked yesterday, I talked to God about the daily struggles I have been facing. How I know I have my flaws and shortcomings, but I have been being obedient. I have been doing the things he has asked me, and I have been facing things I feel I should be passed by now. No sooner than I said that God showed me all the things he has bought me through. Was my current dilemma bigger than those and it wasn't.

He also showed me all the big things I am believing him for. How can I believe him for that and not to take care of the minimal things of my everyday problems. I had to laugh because that did seem a little ridiculous. I do believe he is going to make everything he showed me happen but once something happens out of my control, I begin to go back to survival mode on how I can get it figured out. I had to rest in the confidence God got me. It is hard because the problem is still there, but either you believe it or you don't.

I also get begin to get ahead of the day. instead of resting in I have everything I need today. Just being grateful for what God has done and is doing in the current moment. I had to take some deep breathes and just remind myself I am ok and safe in his arms. I began to sing " you make a way. When my back is against the wall, and it looks as if it was over. You make a way. You are God so you did it. You make a way". I know that was the Holy Spirit calming my inner storm. I just smiled and thanked God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Let them know I love them and appreciate their faithfulness because I know I don't deserve it. I said out loud " I BELIEVE".

Waiting

I know most of you seen this and began to think of your on waiting season or the opposite began to say we aren't waiting on God; God is waiting on us. When I see this word, both come to my mind. Lately I have just been in expectancy and excitement. Yes, some days it feels delusional. It is only delusional until it happens. I just keep on waking up thanking God, praying, and seeking him throughout my day.

I seen a video the other day and the woman was talking about 1Kings 18 when Elijah was praying and having his assistant to keep checking for signs of a storm. She said he checked 6 times nothing and the seventh time he seen a small cloud and told Elijah. What if he stopped checking. I am waiting on my inheritance to drop. I began checking my accounts for it. Checking the mail. Looking for signs daily. One day it is going to arrive.

I am well aware that God does not want to give it to us before we are ready. That God's divine timing is perfect. So, I am praying anything not of you Lord purge me from and fill me up with you. Anything in my life that will corrupt or delay your plans for my life pull it up from the roots. Continue to prepare me lord because I want to be ready. I won't lie and say it is easy. Everything in your previous life will tell you, you are doing great give yourself a beak. Open your spiritual senses and seek God for how he is calling you higher.

There are things you can't do anymore, places you can't go, and conversations you can no longer have. You have to become disciplined enough when people say it is ok. You know you have to remove yourself from it. God make me spiritually disciplined in the way you intended for me to be. Let my spiritual ears be sensitive to your instruction. Let my spiritual sight be sharp. Let my spiritual touch know what to and what not to reach for. Let my spiritual smell give me heads up from a distance what is not close enough for my other senses to discern. Let my spiritual taste pick up it is nourishing to me before it touches my lips. Help me discern through my spiritual sense to get to the place where I walk into my inheritance.

Service to spouse

Marriage is about service to your spouse. To be of service is something that comes natural to me but was usually something I showed up for. Other than being a child in my mother's home it had not been a constant in years. I just had me to look after. When I got with my husband everything changed and at that point, he was just my boyfriend.

I love to cook and like things a certain way, so he got spoiled quickly. At times I would get frustrated usually because we were arguing and thought it was crazy for him to expect the same thing as usual. We both had some maturing to do. Fast forward we got married and marriage shifted my perspective on serving him even when I was upset. He was my husband and who would take care of him if I didn't.

I know look at it as a privilege. I love to watch him enjoy my food, the peace he has coming into a clean and prayed in home and having him look to me for order in every aspect of our lives. Take care of him when he is sick, massage him when he aches, wash his back in the shower. Yes, he is spoiled but he is my husband. He is the gift God gave me in covenant. The one who loves on me, checks on me daily, calls me when something funny happens, randomly tells me I'm beautifully and he loves me, comes homes to me every day, and just checks in to make sure I am ok.

He is my best friend. My favorite travel buddy. My daily entertainment. The first person I want to talk to when anything happens. The person that knows my deepest pain and the person that knows how to make my day. The person I smile with and have the deepest laughs. He will be the person I am with for the rest of my life, and I am so happy to serve him. I think nothing of it to do it for anyone even strangers. Why in the world would I not do it for the man that changed my name?