A personal healing

One thing I have learned is you have to want the healing for yourself. I used to want to heal to be better to other people. To be a better daughter, sibling, partner, and friend. I thought if I could just be better than everything would be better. I found out the hard way that you changing doesn't make others want to change. A lot of time it makes others feel judged. I know that is not your intention it has never been mine either.

The more you grow it makes the people around you think about the things they aren't ready to change. It has nothing to do with you. Unless you are one of those people that judge people now that you are doing better. You are definitely the reason for your headache. Anyway, you have to continue to grow whether people around you are ready or not.

It has to be a personal thing. You have to be ready to leave the old you behind and embrace everything that comes with you becoming your best version. You will lose friends, will feel isolated, and sometimes feel like you are losing your mind because everyone will say it is you. You have to be ok with it because it is you.

I woke up and decided I want better for myself. I don't want trauma to be normal. I don't want to be surrounded by bad habits. I don't want to be surrounded by people that have shady jokes for me and say they are just playing. I no longer want to be around people that will put me in situations I wouldn't have myself in. I chose different for myself.

I will be the one to break the cycles for me and everyone that come from me. This journey is personal. I refuse to say I did the best I could and never sought help to do better. Sorry I couldn't take you with me.