I seen a Rainbow

I began talking to God about coming out of this sadness I have been in. I originally wanted to know why but I have now gotten to the point that I thank God it wasn't worse. I am alive, I have my husband, we can try again, and God never left me. I started following the instructions God was giving me and it made me lighter.

Obedience is so important even in grief. I went to my post opt appointment and for the first time I talked about it, and I didn't cry. I called the funeral home, and I didn't cry. I called Eric and he asked me, what the doctor said? I was so glad to tell him I didn't cry. He told me he was proud of me, and I smiled as if I had won a real prize.

The night before I talked to God, and something caught my eye. Lights dancing on the wall at the top of the door. They were in the color of the rainbow. This is maybe the third time God gave me a rainbow inside the house. God is amazing. A rainbow always brings me joy, peace, and reassurance. God was telling me it was all going to be ok.

I realized I am ok. I caught myself saying I was ugh, and I had to stop and correct it. I no longer felt like that I felt better. I felt clearer mentally, I felt more in control emotionally, and felt the healing starting physically. When I was talking to Eric, he asked me did I want to wait to try again. I told him yes immediately. This didn't break me I'm not scared. Just didn't happen like I expected. It's God's plan not mine and it will always turn out better that way.