Sacrifice is needed

Today I finished day 12 of my 30 day raw cleanse. I was in reflection today about all the things I needed to let go of to have the relationship with God that I have. As I can't wait to see how much better it can get. I think of the peace and joy I sit in today from giving up things that were harming me.

Most people think of the alcohol and drugs they had to give up. That may have been the easiest part for me. I had to give up my pride, survival mode, and thought that I had to do it alone. I woke up this morning in awe. I have been working on this lifestyle of clean eating and being chem free for 6 years now. I never once thought I would be capable of eating raw for more than a couple of days. Ya girl needs a hot meal. So I thought. I never even considered trying it because, why? To really think about it. Why is it so hard to eat food as it grows. Now I love fruit and vegetables. I had no problem eating the fruit raw, but other than a salad everything else is getting seasoned and hitting that fire. I mean I had given up most things from how I grew up, let me have it right.

I feel such a clarity. The last couple of days I have been thinking about what my first meal would be after this 30 days of raw ended. Like in depth thought about it to the point I could taste it, but why? Why was I so pressed to ruin everything I has just done. Not to say cooked food is bad, but ya girl was thinking about fried onion rings and mushrooms. Like why would I do all this to put something so heavy right back on my stomach. I asked God to take the taste away for things I don't need. The same prayer I prayed when I was trying to stop smoking.

I felt so strong this morning. I will be at 2 weeks on Thursday, and if you would have told me I would even do two weeks raw I would have laughed. Here I am. God is a gentlemen he won't force his self in and he won't overwhelm us with all we have to do at one time. There was times where I tried and it would either lead me to smoking because I feel overwhelmed or stress eating. Today I am just proud that the things I have given up. I can see, were only for my benefit. It wasn't to hurt me but it felt so painful because they had been my crutch for so long. The subtle changes lead to me being able to start this process. Although I will eat cooked food again I will definitely go back into with a different mindset. I thank God for caring enough about me to be patient, and also hold my hand with every step.