Talking to God

I know church and these religious spirits will have you feeling like everybody can't access God. Let me tell you if you call out to him he hears you. No I will give you the honest truth if you talking to him on trash he may not always return your call lol. God always hears you. It doesn't have to be structured in a way or use certain words to get his attention. He created you and knows your sincerity.

This last couple of years I have had more conversations with God than I probably have had in my lifetime. I grew up in church and was raised on the Lord's prayer. Not saying anything is wrong with it, but somedays. Well a lot of days I didn't have all of that. I could barely get out what was wrong through my tears. It is like calling your friend and having to do a royal 10 minute greeting before you could talk. Not saying God doesn't deserve all of that. I just didn't have it.

So I just wouldn't say anything sometimes. I would even begin to talk plain sometimes and would stop myself to say the lords prayer just to make sure it got through. God created you. He knows you in and out and he knows that you aren't coming with disrespect. He knows your heart and feels your anguish. He knows that you know he is the only one to fix it.

Speak to him. A good relationship is what God wants. That is why we chase and fight so hard for one with the people around us, because it is the most important thing to the one who formed us. If you think you can't that is probably when you need to be talking to him the most. It will change you will get more comfortable. Even though I do advise special time set aside. I talk to God all day long in little snippets.

When something goes wrong. I ask God what is going on. Somedays I just laugh with him about it, because why are we like this? God had something so much greater in mind but he gave us free will. We decided that retribution was greater than love. Today just take time to talk to God. Even if it is just a hello. God misses you like you are his favorite person.

May was Miraculous

As April ended I knew exactly what I was to do in May. The month was set for preparation for what was coming next. I knew I had to commit in a way I never had before. I thought, will I be able? I knew all I could do was take it one day at a time.

When the end of April began to creep up I decided I would start then. Often we will wait for the ideal day to start, and the day never comes. So I just started and began to walk into my new. I wanted to meet the version God was fighting so hard for me to walk into. God kept calling and I knew the undisciplined, non-consistent, and unfocused version wasn't it.

God showed me what to do and I had no choice but to be obedient and ask for his help to do it. I walked through the month and some days I cried because I was fighting my flesh so hard. I learned that a caterpillar literally dies of himself to become a butterfly. I felt the cocoon process happening. It was hard and painful not doing what I wanted to do. After a few weeks I cried over it being so hard for me to do the right thing. If God was telling me exactly what to do, to have what he showed me. Why was it so hard for me to do what I needed to get what I wanted?

God began to show me that the wrong thing became comfortable for me because it had been my safety net for so long. What he was calling me to do I had never been convinced it was possible. Even though I had been talking about it for years. I had always seen it as a temporary thing. Not something that would begin to shake me to my core if I didn't get it right. I no longer had a choice. The last day of my raw cleanse I became a Doula. I thank God for never taking his hand off me.

Your Circle

I remember growing up and getting in trouble for whatever happened with the people around me. Whether it was my siblings, cousins, or friends. As I got older I realized that I took on the judgements from people from who I hung out with. Most were in correct from me being one of the guys, and people thinking I was a pass around. Some of the girls I hung out with didn't have the best reputation. People couldn't see past those things to get to know me.

I say all that to say. As I have gotten older that I realized the people you hang around really make or break you. They will push you further than you ever knew you could. Or they will kill ever dream you ever had. It isn't always them speaking death over what you want to do. It usually is them not being productive and you waste a lot of time being around them. Hanging out is never about building; y'all just kick it. Use your time to complain about everything going wrong with no solutions. Drink and smoke to forget what you don't want to think about.

You need friends that will pray over and with you. Hear you complain, and ask what is next? That ask about your business, and make you think about how you can grow it. Your circle is so important in who you will become. They will encourage your drive, help you grow spiritually, make you think as an individual and not the masses, you will think of Legacy and not self. The right circle will allow you to walk the path God has set you on in courage.

If you are seeking this circle. God is the only one who can align it. Have a conversation with God about what you need. It is not because he doesn't know. It allows him to know you are ready because you now know what to ask for. He knows you won't drop the ball. When you get to the point to say what you need. You have went through whatever you needed to, to know the difference between a good thing and a God thing.