Take care of you

Yesterday was rough I went to bed the day before and my mouth was hurting. Woke up with it throbbing. I didn't get any sleep last night. I wanted to feel sorry for my self the first day I got up with my mouth hurting. I heard push through. That is exactly what I did.

I have been in such a grove lately of course something is going to distract me from getting things done. I am not going to let it. I got my videos and my blog done. Did my workout got the things done I needed to do for the house. I did take some me time when I got finished. I made me some ginger and key lime tea, got me some mangoes, and prepared the foot spa massager to get my feet soaking. I realized I hadn't done something just for me in a while. I usually like a nice bath but I just been in the flow I haven't taken one. Maybe today.

I had to not really wake up early. Since I couldn't sleep, but get out the bed to get this tooth handled. Ya girl is tired and I am going to take a nap today. I am not really a nap person, but how I tossed and turned last night I am about to put on my scarf and dive right into that bed before the numbing wears off. I was still productive. I will have to still get my workout in later but I don't feel bad just taking care of me.

Make sure you take some time for you, with nobody else's needs calculated in. Even if it is just a 30 minute foot massage. Oh it felt so good. You deserve it. If your cup is empty you have nothing for anyone else either.

2 Weeks of 30 Day raw DONE

I woke up this morning, like I am half way there. Well technically tomorrow will be half way done, but I really made it this far. Now anybody that knows me knows I have been on this natural food journey for about 6 years now. I just never could wrap my head around not eating cook food.

Now I never got into vegan foods as far as impossible meat and things like that. Discernment definitely told me there was something off with that but I still wanted to do cooked meals that felt filling. I would do meatless chilis, veggie stews, things like stuffed peppers, and ya girl loves a good stir fry. I still will eat these things occasionally but not like I was before.

I would eat raw a couple of days but then I was over it. God put it on my heart to give it 30 days to clean myself out and know what I am supposed to feel like without all the extra. Also to feel what the food does for me if I don't cook the nutrients out of them. I feel amazing.

I definitely did not do it in my own strength. The first of couple of days I was good, but when my body realized it wasn't my normal fresh food couple of days. Cravings got on me like nobody's business. When I was considering what would be appropriate meal to break. God told me to just make it through the day. It has been a few days of this. Where I was struggling why am I doing this.I am doing way better than most. God told me it wasn't about anyone else's journey, but about my own. If I was supposed to be changing how I eat for my children. What does that have to do with how anyone else is eating? So all I can do is be obedient.

What are you questioning doing, because no one around you is doing. Just do it, it is for you. You may be the influence of change. It may not be your surrounding, but who you are rearing. Be obedient!

Restoration may not be what you thought

The last couple of days I have been so grateful for the restoration that has taken place in my life. The honest truth the things that I thought I need when I was in my darkest places has nothing to do with the restoration I am thanking God for today.

When I was at my lowest I was praying to God about why me. What had I done to go through so much? To be left alone? To be abandoned, mishandled, and not loved? Why didn't my parents care for and love me. Why didn't I have the love he kept putting in my heart I should feel? Everything I was seeking was for the people around me to do things they had no idea how to do.

Although God has healed how I felt about all these situations. All I needed to do was seek God because the love he was talking about, was one only God could give me and teach me how to love myself. The love I had for myself allowed all the pain I had let in, as an adult anyway. As God worked with me how to love myself as he intended. Everything began to shift. I started seeing things I was doing to myself, what I was allowing people to do to me, and the lack of boundaries I had placed.

I was put in a period of isolation. In this time God was striping me of me. All the things that survival mode had me carrying.

When I reemerged I felt the difference. I was invited to an event and so much of my past was in the room. The things I use to yearn for, the things I use to do, and the people I gave so much of myself to. Had me surrounded, and I laughed at the fact that I was ever in a place that it meant so much to me at a period of my life. I was at a place now that it meant nothing to even engage.

I use to think the restoration was for people of my past to see me as God did. I now realize as I woke in discussion with God that my restoration is what I will walk forward in not that I have forgiven and laid all the pain down. I am walking into the best relationship with God I ever had. That I am walking into a healthy marriage, that I will have children that will be warriors of righteousness, that I will have land that I will not be able to see the end of any way I look, I will be able to be the help people seek, I will be eat as God intended for me, I will shift this world. I will give everything God gives to me back to God. None of it is about me. It is for the greater good and I will move out the way to work as God intends it.